I am writing from my writing desk in my bedroom, oil diffusers fills the air with a warm smell of frankincense, Western Australian sandalwood, and a touch of lavender. The windows have condensation and the tiny drips scurry down the foggy double glazed windows, it's such a comforting feeling knowing it was created by mine and my daughters warm breath in bed cuddling, Cornish Rex brothers at our feet, contrasting against the cold spring bulbs deep in the frosty earth in the back yard, storing and making strength for the 2014 springs bulbs. Van diemends Quality bulbs did the work last yr for this yrs bloom.
I am drinking coffee and feel like writing.
The phenix is about to rise.
I am back to my health.
Not 100% gun ho, as with every waining and waxing, a small part of the energy dissipates and is left floating in the air of time and history, a ghost, a reflection of the actions of yesterdays, and a knowledge of tomorrows power through simply learning and growing older and wiser in life.
A blog post for BR is sitting in edit mode.
It has been for a few months now, it's sitting and waiting for the full concussion of clarity of mind to appear, it's taking me a while to reflect which in sense is a good thing, I am such an all or nothing girl, and certainly when I am in 'nothing' mode, I always have something to give to BR.
It is after all, my second child.
Taking the time to do it, is certainly good for my soul.
Having time of sewing has been wonderful!
Me and Paige are a fiasco of laughs and giggles most afternoons when we hit the park and play together. I have lost 24 kg in a yr, and now I keep up with her fast little furious feet begging me to skip, hide, and reach for the moon together.
On the way home from the park last week (She was sitting on my shoulders)
- "Mummy, look look it's a plane! Can I touch it?"
Me-"Reach out your hands baby girl, try"
Little Red-"No I cannot mummy! It's to far away!"
Me-"Oh Baby girl if you keep trying you will be abable to touch the stars as well one day, I promise."
Little Red- "Ok mummy"
Me-"That's my girl"
It was such a profound moment of clarity for both of us, you know them moments when you almost feel like you are touching god? Doctors would say it was a rush of dopamine. I believe it was a bit of both.
I am sewing again, it's lovely.
I do not wish to go full steam ahead freight train like the past yrs, the steam is only just leaving my body now, and my flight or fight sensors dissipated. I am also gardening. Planting bulbs in my garden most nights with a glass of Pino red, and colour matching different plant species, habitat growing environments, oh tulip-mania has taken over. It's been a wonderful project to pour my energy into.
In the coming weeks you will see more photos added to the 2013 album on FB, I am sewing some really great extreme themes atm, I have not listed many, a manageable few, that will see love and devotion poured and stitched in daylight hours.
My nights are now for resting.
I am at the end of my coffee, and getting glittery, its time to dig out that fitted snow jacket, pick up some pots in town, its perfect weather to plant tulips.
Oh and before I forget... To my dear friend that went through turmoil last night via cyber nappy crazy land. Yesterday was yesterday, and todays a new day.
Dont let people put words in your mouth.
Some people just did not understand what you were trying to say.
Freaken start your own blog woman!!!
-JR x
